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Joke of the Day

"*follows Dreams* ~dream doesn't follow back~ ~unfollows Dream~"

"What do you call a tortoise in a shell suit? A tortoise."

"(NAME) spent most of his university days single But it was by choice. Woman chose not to date him."

"Whats Fred Flintstones favorite drug? Crack Rock."

"Doctor: ""I'm afraid-"" *Wife crying* ""I'm afraid your husband is in a better place now."" *cut to me on a roller coaster at Disneyland*"

"If NASCAR wants me to believe it's not a sport for idiots, they should stop reminding the drivers to start their engines."

"ONCE APON A TIME... #2 yeah I no-one likes school I escaped :P"

"It is better to have loved and lost than have your face ripped off by a chimpanzee"

"What do you call a politically correct boat? A censorship"

"Why don't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they take all the green cards. (friend at work told me this gem)"