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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they take all the green cards. (friend at work told me this gem)"

"My cat freaked out when I told him he was adopted. Granted, I spelled it out on the floor with a laser pointer."

"I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type."

"If you were playing a drinking game where you took a sip every time they said ""Lebron,"" you'd die."

"If you think ""Pearl Jam"" Is an oriental sex act, you might be a redneck"

"Just found out today that the barber of my neighborhood got arrested for selling drugs. I'm shocked! I was his customer for years and didn't know he cut hair!"

"We would tease Jacob because he had glasses. Once we pulled them of him, but then he began to tease us because we had glasses."

"I got off at the wrong bus stop. She was so hot I didn't even see the policeman."

"Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is ""Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?"""

"Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both substitute meats."