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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a tortoise in a shell suit? A tortoise."

"How does Mike Tyson get smarter? By taking a math gainer."

"If I wrote an autobiography I bet it wouldn't sell Story of my life.."

"I just got fired for sexual harassment. I'm self employed."

"I bet Jesus would have instagrammed a lot of pics of wine."

"I would walk barefoot over hot koalas for you."

"I'm a dad. Here's my joke: Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub? Because there's a BartEnder there."

"What do you call a cow masterbating? Beef stroking off"

"So there are two... There are two muffins in the oven, one muffin says to the other on, ""it's getting hot in here"". The other one says.. ""Holy shit a talking muffin!"""

"You know that pestering someone because the don't watch the same TV shows as you isn't a personality, right?"