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Joke of the Day

"It's important to distinguish between a seal and a sealion. A sealion is just like a seal, but it's either gained or lost electrons."

"Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows? A: It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in."

"You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn."

"Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag.mons"

"Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said ""Make money at home."""

"What is a toilet in Ancient Mexico? Aztec."

"My ex-teacher left the cheese industry for the same reason he left the teaching industry.. Hated grating."

"It would be so much more ""festive"" if UPS and FEDEX guys dressed as Santa while delivering packages during the holiday season"

"The guy who invented the USB connector died... They lowered the coffin into his grave. Then they lifted it back out, turned it round, and lowered it back in again."

"What is Adam's brother called? Subtractem"