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Joke of the Day

"My ex-teacher left the cheese industry for the same reason he left the teaching industry.. Hated grating."

"I walked in on my roommate watching midget porn When I questioned him about it, he started getting short with me"

"I was thinking about you today... Just wondering where I'm going to hide your body."

"My wife got home and was mad when she saw I fed my son cake, banana, popcorn and M&M's for dinner. I was like, ""You saw the banana, right?"""

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake walk into a bar... Ba-dumm-tsss"

"The Internet is the world's greatest source of things you don't really need."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, a hipster will buy the soundtrack."

"The other day my doctor told me I had to stop masturbating... ...when I asked why, he said ""So I can finish the examination."""

"How do you know tickle me Elmo is male? Because before he leaves the factory they give him two test tickles."

"What is Irish and sits on the porch? Patty O'Furniture"