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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a really quiet dog? A subwoofer."

"What can you put at the end of a sentence, to make it funnier? The punchline."

"What is soft and fuzzy, and lives in a hole? My belly button lint."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's fingers."

"Look, if you need a heimlich, just ask me nicely, enough of this flapping your arms and making faces shit."

"My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport."

"A JokeExplainBot walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Hey! We don't serve robots in here."" The JokeExplainBot replies menacingly, ""Oh, you will... Someday, you will."""

"I was doing a Maths exam yesterday. I looked up to find the lad at the next desk staring at me. I said, ""What the fuck's your problem?"" He said, ""The square root of 144."""

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't make cheap leather out of Ferraris."

"Carbon was under a lot of pressure from his parents to marry Silicon so Carbon gave her a diamond."