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Joke of the Day

"[I remove my bike helmet, but my toupee comes off with it] ""I'm sorry guys, is there something funny about safety?"""

"Men treat women like objects. Weird men treat objects like women."

"When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: ""What is courage?"" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top."

"Being the life of the party doesn't mean being the whore of the night."

"What do you call a retard who is super high? a baked potato lol xD"

"Whats brown and sticky A stick"

"My favorite sex move is ""The JFK"" That's where I splatter all over her face while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"I'm so glad that Twitter keeps track of my number of posts. It is so refreshing to be able to properly quantify my wasted time."

"What do 12 year old mexican girls and born-again christians have in common? They both have a little Jesus in 'em..."

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for ""dailysex""... But the wife had to break it to me that it was actually for ""dyslexia""."