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Joke of the Day

"When Conor McGregor finishes in 13 seconds, everybody cheers But when I finish in 13 seconds, my girlfriend won't talk to me"

"A man and a Giraffe walk into a bar. The Giraffe gets drunk and falls on the floor unconscious. The bartender says ""you can't leave that lyin' there."" The man says ""its not a Lion, its a Giraffe"""

"Paul McCartney wrote 'Yesterday' But he also wrote 'Obla-de-obla-da' and 'Ebony and Ivory' So, don't worry if some of your tweets are shit"

"What did the vertebrate say to the invertebrate? Always thought you was a bit spineless."

"What's the one thing a woman wants most in this world? Nothing, she's fine"

"If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead, I would choose someone who is dead so I didn't have to listen to them chew."

"him: what did you do all day? *steps aside to reveal 12 cats taped together* Me: it's a purrrramid!"

"I've fallen in love with my tailor. What can I say, he suits me"

"Pitbull: Hey, what rhymes with ""Kodak""? Nicki Minaj: ""Kodak"", duh... Pitbull: Thanks!"

"Why did the Computer Engineer retire young? He had a lot of cache."