16107

Joke of the Day

"him: what did you do all day? *steps aside to reveal 12 cats taped together* Me: it's a purrrramid!"

"*takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants"

"Whenever my neighbor looks like they want to speak to me. I collapse to the ground motionless as if I were one of Andy's toys."

"Why do slovaks don't like Czechs? They prefer cash."

"I hate being the only drunk person at the party It totally ruined my sons 6th birthday!"

"What steps do you take if you encounter a bear in the wild? Fucking big ones!"

"[walks up to guys playing basketball] ""mind if I join?"" you any good? Hell yeah I'm good. Toss me the orange sphere"

"My favorite country star's good songs are about being bad and his bad songs are about being good I'll always love Jason Aladeen"

"You know it's cold outside when... You buy a foot long at Subway and by the time you get it to you car it's a six inch"

"Damn Reddit, Aren't you tired of this bullshit?"