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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Computer Engineer retire young? He had a lot of cache."

"My girlfriend said I was too controlling ... and it wasn't her turn to speak."

"I was asked who my favorite x-men was. I guess Caitlyn Jenner wasn't a good answer"

"Q: What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends? A: Endless Bread!"

"Did you hear about the Easter Egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs"

"Him: Are you on your way? Me: Yes, this cab driver sucks! *changes outfit for the 6th time, gulps wine and requests an uber*"

"What does Batman use to wash his hair? Conditioner Gordon."

"My neighbor's dog is so popular that every time he barks, the neighborhood dogs RT him."

"What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust"

"2 peanuts are walking in the park. One is assaulted."