208819
Joke of the Day
"I rear-ended a guy on the way to work today Rectum."
Next Joke
"I got my born-again mother an FML shirt for Christmas. Telling her it means Father, My Lord."
"Doctor told me I need glasses. So I'm having several tonite."
"I was holding my cousin's baby when I shouted SPOILER ALERT: LIFE SUCKS & that's why I'm no longer allowed to hold my cousin's baby"
"My parents are middle aged. ""Mine are to-"" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] ""CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"""
"""Stop putting words into my mouth!"" ""Fine, eat your alphabet soup by yourself."""
"There's no easy way to say this... FJdnfiouadp, djfpiocu aneouidf, acnslikfiucukuokjpqukd. Diuoiufpqknddiolololdiodoodlioaidoiucnbnzquznd. Qudfiout'z'ndfjoikcugh."
"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? He didn't either."
"What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded."
"I've noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be."