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Joke of the Day

"What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping? A clean sheet."

"Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women"

"Reddit, I need your help. Cascade me with unintended pregnancy jokes for a female friend!"

"It's so cold outside... I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my nipple."

"*peels off yoga pants to reveal even yogier pants*"

"""Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?"" ""Go on then"" ""NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"" ""That's Superman"" ""Thanks, I've been practicing."""

"When I punish my future kids I wont just take their phone I'm gonna be them on social media & just comment ""nice"" on everyones old pool pics"

"3 Old Women and a Flasher Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man comes by and flashes them. Two of them have a stroke, and the third one couldn't reach."

"I didn't use to eat babies. I still don't. I just didn't use to as well."

"what is the difference between a crook and a politician? A crook will steal before he runs, a politician runs before he steals"