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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes down the chimney."

"I just heard the words ""she received an academic scholarship from the university of Alabama."" I never thought I'd hear ""academic scholarship"", ""university"" and ""Alabama"" in the same sentence."

"Man, the way these journalists are complaining it's like they only went to Sochi to use doorknobs and go poop."

"A dolphin walks into a bar. Impossible, dolphins don't have legs."

"Take that seed. Yes that one Burn it. Now crunch it up. More. Now pour this hot water on it. Let me drink that. It's good. Name it ""coffee"""

"Why does it smell of tires? There are two black people fighting."

"What's Pharma Bro's favorite musical? Rent."

"Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade."

"What's do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino? 'ell if I know."

"I'm looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math..."