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Joke of the Day

"Take that seed. Yes that one Burn it. Now crunch it up. More. Now pour this hot water on it. Let me drink that. It's good. Name it ""coffee"""

"What do you call a homosexual black male? Spear Sucker !"

"Friends are like trees... They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe."

"What's Harry Potter's favorite way to go down a hill? Walking. Jk. Rolling."

"My fake mustache fell off in Home Depot and now they won't let me touch any of the power tools."

"what do you call a closet full of lesbians? a liquor closet"

"I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled ""come on"" and then they tried harder."

"There are no divorce courts at the North Pole, so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon. They're great for separating independent Clauses."

"Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!"

"I'm not scratching my balls I'm petting my crabs"