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Joke of the Day

"What can you say about lots of protected sex? It is a common misconception"

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"Pigs CAN fly... They just gotta pay for two seats."
"What is Mario's favorite material? Denim Denim Denim"
"Aoccdrnig to Ylae rseaerch, it deosn't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is how mcuh mnoey you hvae"
"What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle? I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!"
"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long if you're fat."
"I like my men like I like my neutron stars Hot, dense, and degenerate."
"Sorry, I'm way too tired to do anything tonight. I just need to take a shower, get to bed early, then look at stuff on my phone until 4 AM."
"last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas.... I woke up in a box."
"You should never bribe someone to get what you want. You should blackmail them, it's cheaper and much more effective."