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Joke of the Day

"Why did God bless Texas? He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris."

"My fruit business went into liquidation. I now sell smoothies."

"If your Uncle Jack helped you off the horse... Would you help your Uncle Jack off the horse?"

"Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born."

"Emperor Sleepoleon, we urge you to change your name to appear less lazy to your people. Oui, I shall dial it back, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY"

"Why would I go to a high school reunion? I have Facebook, I already know who got fat."

"How many ears does Spock have? A right ear, a left ear, and the final front ear."

"Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken."

"What's the difference between a hold-up and a stick-up? Age"

"Do you know why eggs are the only thing to laugh at 9/11? Because it's an inside yolk"