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Joke of the Day

"Emperor Sleepoleon, we urge you to change your name to appear less lazy to your people. Oui, I shall dial it back, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY"

"Tie a sweater around your waist so you can pretend a short ghost is hugging you."

"Saw this one in my maths class Student: Sir I'm cold! Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then. Student: Why would I do that? Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there."

"I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward."

"Don't you dare go playing that drum again. There will be repercussions!"

"Marrige has 3 rings... The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."

"What's hard, long and has cum in it? A Cucumber..."

"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and one to tell her she did a really good job."

"Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots."