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Joke of the Day

"What did Hamlet say to his cat? Get thee to a nyanery!"

"Are you a chicken farmer cause' you know how to raise a cock."

"Nuts Two peanuts walk into a bar, one of em was a salted!"

"I tried erotic suffocation on the wife the other night when we were having sex. She obviously didn't like it. She's been lying there for 5 days now giving me the silent treatment!!"

"How much space does fungi need to grow? As Mushroom as possible."

"Who is always your friend at school? Your princi-pal."

"9/11 jokes are just... Plane wrong."

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently, she left me a few days ago."

"How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving."

"I won't help a customer with their problem until they've been completely dehumanized."