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Joke of the Day

"""I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

"I'm not an alcoholic... My liver is evil and it must be destroyed."

"As soon as I walk in, I can feel every woman at the gym dressing me with their eyes."

"I got a boner at a funeral today... It was mourning wood"

"Being on Twitter is like being at a party in that I say stuff to myself and sometimes people listen"

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down... You have my Word"

"How do you start a rave party in Ethiopia? Glue bread to the ceiling."

"How do you turn a duck into a blues singer? Leave it out in the sun until its Bill Withers"

"F(x) walks into a bar The bartender looks at him and says ""sorry, we don't cater for functions"""

"*holding banana up to my ear as if it's a phone* haha, get it?? it looks like i am making a phonecall. but i'm n-*banana rings* oh crap"