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Joke of the Day

"What's a woman's favorite keyboard key? Ctrl"

"If you see an Apple store getting robbed.... Does that make you an iWitness?"

"I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!"

"I recently joined a support group for people who peaked in high school. It's called Crossfit"

"What do drunk female pirates like to give up? DA BOOTY!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cliff ! Cliff who ? Cliff hanger !"

"What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio? Sesame Street has an Oscar."

"My Dad's Maths Joke: Why do programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because Dec 25 is Oct 31 Edit: corrected because I'm a fucking tool"

"My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it's down the chimney."