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Joke of the Day

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" Apparently the politically correct term is ""Tyrone, please paint the fence"""

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"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's house? A right a right a right"
"How do you know if a black woman is pregnant? Stick a banana up her cooter, if it comes out half eaten, you've got a monkey on the way!"
"donald trump: ILL HAVE THE SUPER SALAD! waiter: lol no I said soup OR s- [assistant sliding $100] just bring him a huge bowl of lettuce"
"BUSINESS IDEA: CinnaBon-Iver. Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes."
"A man walks into a bar and the bartender says: I think you've had enough already."
"What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket."
"I saw a fat guy with a ""M.O.B."" tattoo on his arm. I asked ""money over b*tches?"" He said ""No, McDonalds over Burger King."
"My ex-girlfriend was like an incompetent tailor... She didn't suit me."
"For me, eating fast food is like going out on a date and finding out the person you're with is racist. Either way, you're going to end up alone in your apartment using up all the toilet paper."