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Joke of the Day

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" Apparently the politically correct term is ""Tyrone, please paint the fence"""

"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's house? A right a right a right"

"How do you know if a black woman is pregnant? Stick a banana up her cooter, if it comes out half eaten, you've got a monkey on the way!"

"donald trump: ILL HAVE THE SUPER SALAD! waiter: lol no I said soup OR s- [assistant sliding $100] just bring him a huge bowl of lettuce"

"BUSINESS IDEA: CinnaBon-Iver. Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes."

"A man walks into a bar and the bartender says: I think you've had enough already."

"What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket."

"I saw a fat guy with a ""M.O.B."" tattoo on his arm. I asked ""money over b*tches?"" He said ""No, McDonalds over Burger King."

"My ex-girlfriend was like an incompetent tailor... She didn't suit me."

"For me, eating fast food is like going out on a date and finding out the person you're with is racist. Either way, you're going to end up alone in your apartment using up all the toilet paper."