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Joke of the Day

"TIFU in math class by saying 'subduct' instead of 'subtract' whoops, wrong sub"

"Waking up alone with morning wood is one of the hardest things in life. [NSFW]"

"kids now have dating apps but back in my day we had to run through the city shirtless with a megaphone screaming ""why does no one want me"""

"Emperor: How are my elite troops doing on Endor? Vader: They were all viciously murdered by teddy bears. Emperor: That sounds plausible."

"What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!"

"two chromosomes responsible for a divorce Ex and Why"

"Some cats just sit there looking at you like you owe them money."

"OMG, he's almost here. How's my hair? My clothes? How do I look? (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy."

"Recently I sailed the 7 seas... And let me tell you, this wasn't my worst report card (Seven seas, Seven C's)"

"What's the most redundant sentence you can come up with? -department of redundancy department"