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Joke of the Day

"How do you spell socks in Spanish? Eso si que es."

"If I moved to Britain right now, I could retire a wealthy man. My bank account has approximately 6,723 dollars in it, which would convert to like infinite British pounds."

"Support Group for People Who Talk Too Much It's called On and On Anon."

"Roses are Red, Violets are blue...... who killed harambe? Cincinnati zoo"

"What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling? He likes it dirty."

"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through one of his skits without laughing"

"i imagine having sex with bill cosby is alot like a Ronda rousey fight. it's terrifying, some poor girl ends up being unconscious, and it only lasts about 30 seconds"

"I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon."

"*holds flashlight under chin Me: suddenly the mystery of... Son: haha Dad has like 3 chins *drops flashlight Me: SANTA CLAUS IS FAKE!!"

"I almost got knocked out by a couple of celebrities recently.... Talk about seeing stars."