208419
Joke of the Day
"What do you call someone with lots of imaginary friends? Schizofriendic"
Next Joke
"What did the frog say to his girlfriend while she was giving him a handjob? Rubbit, Rubbit!"
"So Rick Perry drops his presidential bid Today.. I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions."
"There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't."
"Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I've been one for 30 some years now."
"When you're cold inside, where do you stand? You usually want to stand at a corner, they're around 90 degree's xD"
"""I love you"" can be the most beautiful words you can hear from someone you truly care about, next to ""I got this round."""
"My friend asked me if I had any black in me I told him not since I got out of prison."
"I'm not a god. I'm a regular guy who just happens to be immortal and perfect in every way. There's a difference."
"[7am] *drinks 19 cups of coffee for work *can't stay awake [9pm] *takes a sip of coffee [2am] I should vacuum the dog"