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Joke of the Day

"Greatest pun joke coming in three..two.. pun"

"Guys, I ran the numbers, and each 1000 Twitter followers adds about as much actual value and happiness to your life as a taco."

"High school kids, these awful years are going to end up being the best years of your life. That's how much everything else sucks."

"Q: Why couldn't Batman go fishing? A: Because Robin ate the worms."

"No matter how kind you are... ...German children will always be kinder. Edit: Since you guys seem to like German jokes so much."

"That's the third time in a week I've woken myself up by farting. One more complaint and they're not gonna let me drive this bus anymore."

"My doctor told me my stool was loose. I apologized. I should have warned him before he sat on it."

"If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms."

"Why would you wrap a hamster in duct tape? So it won't explode when you fuck it."

"Why did the church hire a prostitute? Her resume said ""missionary position"""