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Joke of the Day
"My doctor told me my stool was loose. I apologized. I should have warned him before he sat on it."
Next Joke
"I have a ton of leftover horse. It turns out I'm not as hungry as I thought I was."
"An anti-semantic walks into a synagogue. The linguists in the group are offended and leave."
"What happened to the man running in front of the car? He got tired. What happened to the man running behind the car? He got exhausted."
"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."
"How do you confuse an idiot? 78."
"The Night's Watch can ramp up the number of new recruits by... ...ditching its archaic name in favour of something hip like Snow Patrol."
"My friend's teacher everyone : Help me please! There's a little plane on my phone and I can't call! Should I call the pilot for him to delete it?"
"new hipster fad = being really into public domain music"
"Hey son, I know you're 5 years old and you think monsters are under your bed, so here's a gun, just start shooting if you hear anything"