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Joke of the Day
"Russia will eat Turkey for thanksgiving this year."
Next Joke
"Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death."
"Leia: You owe child support. Han: What? I'm in hyperspace. Leia: You're standing right here Han: *makes hyperdrive noises with his mouth*"
"Woman to friend at store: We can get shrimp for people who don't eat meat! Me: don't forget the cheese for the lactose intolerant people!"
"I found this place online that sells authentic moon rocks. The rocks themselves are really cheap, but the shipping is a bitch."
"Somebody stole my mood ring today. I don't know how I feel about that."
"Dad: Why is your January report card so bad ? Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !"
"Chinese people want to criticize Ronda so bad after that fight.....but they cant. They just end up saying her name, Ronda Rousey"
"ISIS released a new video today In it they claimed responsibility for manufacturing the Samsung Galaxy Note 7"
"What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain? A masochrist."