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Joke of the Day

"Somebody stole my mood ring today. I don't know how I feel about that."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump ? One's a dumb and the other is dumber"

"What does a 9 volt battery and a girls ass have in common? You know you shouldn't, but you're gonna lick it eventually."

"What should you do if you find the corpse of a raped woman in the woods? Check your bearings, you're going in circles."

"piss me off and I'll put you on my kid's school fundraiser mailing lists"

"I asked out a statistician on a date. She failed to reject me."

"Where can Sihks and Muslims buy headwear? Turban Outfitters."

"What do you call a midget with no arms and a stumpy leg? A person. Don't be an asshole."

"Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave."

"I was dating an analog synthesizer But I had to break it off. She was just continuously variable."