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Joke of the Day

"I found this place online that sells authentic moon rocks. The rocks themselves are really cheap, but the shipping is a bitch."

"God, grant me the serenity to accept this stolen property, the courage to sell it on eBay, and the wisdom to not get caught."

"You Tolkien to me?!"" - Hobbit de Niro."

"An old one. What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile."

"Are you in the comments? 'cause the real joke is always in the comments."

"I've never seen a chameleon. Good job, chameleons."

"TIL ISIS is a global Bloods vs. Crips. Title"

"I wish I had the balls to be a juggler."

"Me: I want cozy pajama pants for Christmas. Him: I was gonna get lingerie. Me: Trust me. VS won't have your size. Him: Me: *jazz hands*"

"Why couldn't Bach be a rapper? Because he's Baroque."