20827

Joke of the Day

"When it's cold out I wear my UGG boots. When it's frustrating out I wear my UGH boots."

"DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance."

"Hey dude! Would we be considered in-laws if I slept with your wife? No... we'd be even."

"A long queue of people waiting to be hit in the face This is the punch line"

"The bible says ""Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you"" But I think that's sexual harassment."

"Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How's work? You look great. You want some tea?"

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a pedophile.... Eh but what would she know, I mean she is only three."

"What do you call bears with no ears? B"

"Road rage, because yelling and cursing at strangers in the safety of your vehicle is fun. Unless they have a gun."

"I recently found out that marriage is actually a sport... 50% of the time the parents ruin it."