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Joke of the Day

"Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How's work? You look great. You want some tea?"

"Why do married men love golf so much? Because it's not the same three holes over and over again."

"ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for ""A Person Who Deserves Love""? ME [crying]: Hahaha"

"Why was the Mexican tire sad? Because it was despair"

"The boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.... He serves up a great burger and fries."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent"

"Ice skaters... ...do it on the slide, if you know what I mean"

"Did you here about the gay midget? He finally came out of the cabinet"

"I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established."

"I realize I put this off but how much weight can I lose in 2 hours?"