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Joke of the Day
"I like my slaves like I like my coffee Free."
Next Joke
"For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss."
"My ex claimed I had a 'hero' complex, but whatever I think wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants is a bold & brave fashion choice"
"What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature? Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post /r/waterpuns)"
"Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time"
"What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste!"
"I'm crowd funding an organic lettuce purchase from Whole Foods."
"My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons ""speech impediment"" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work"
"What do you call a spanish speaking Coffee Translatte."
"Irony. The opposite of wrinkly."