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Joke of the Day

"The say the job market isn't good for an English Major... ...but hey, at least you're still higher than a captain."

"What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet ? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they don't know either."

"Basically, our plans for the satanic ritual fell through, because we couldn't agree on whose turn it was to get the goat."

"They say if you like it then you should put a ring on it... ...man, I must really love shower curtains."

"When complaining of a stomach ache, you don't really need to point to it or pat it gently. People pretty much know where the stomach is."

"Glare upon the field where I grow my fucks and see that it is baren Seriously they just won't grow"

"I'll bring a knife to a knife fight because I have common sense. Idiots."

"Chuck Norris' chest hair has chest hair."

"We had to put my horse down. After he escaped from the barn, the veterinarian said he was too unstable."

"FREEBIRD! (When you purchase a bird of equal or lesser value.)"