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Joke of the Day

"We had to put my horse down. After he escaped from the barn, the veterinarian said he was too unstable."

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, a beaver, an ass, some hares, and a fish that no one can seem to find."

"I absolutely despise double-standards... Except when it's me, then it's okay."

"I think I'll vote the NSA for president... ...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election."

"Americans think of Canada as a United States cover band."

"What's E.T short for? Because he's got small legs"

"What's the definition of a will? Come on, it's a dead giveaway!"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank herbal tea before it was cool."

"Healthy cereal feels a lot like dressy sweatpants."

"When and why did the yam farmer get up? For a yam."