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Joke of the Day

"Glare upon the field where I grow my fucks and see that it is baren Seriously they just won't grow"

"I hosted a debate between ""Safe Space"" advocates and critics The safe space advocates didn't show up and called for my resignation."

"Turkey shoots down Russian jet it's too soon to tell, but insiders report his actions were in hopes of receiving a presidential pardon before thanksgiving hits."

"I kicked a French guy in the balls... Once, I kicked a French guy in the balls. As he clutched his groin and sank to the floor, he whispered in pain, ""wee wee"". So I kicked him again."

"[job interview] interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: that's a trick question there is no c in any of those words"

"Did you hear about the terrorist suicide bombers rave party? I heard they had a blast."

"We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn't stay alive."

"Define Irony: The opposite of wrinkly"

"Why are bears so hairy ? They don't have salons in the jungle !"

"Mt. Everest has lost its record status ... ... now that a British astronaut is Earth's highest Peake."