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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how old I am? I'm so old that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick. (Told to me by my grandfather)"

"me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth"

"One tectonic plate bumped into another and said..... ""Sorry, my fault."""

"It's good times for German geologists As they have discovered a large deposit of gemulichkeit."

"If Facebook is conflicting with your real life relationships then it's time to take a break. We need your full commitment over here."

"Why do Communists only write in lowercase? Because they hate Capitalism."

"She said I have a face only a mother could love. I said ""that's not very nice, mom."""

"A good way to keep a secret from me is to leave it on my voicemail"

"When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal."

"A women got a wooden breast implant the other day.. This joke would be funny if it had a punchline.. *Wooden tit?*"