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Joke of the Day

"Why do Communists only write in lowercase? Because they hate Capitalism."

"Apparently half of men have a problem with premature ejaculation The rest of us just don't think its a problem."

"It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train."

"What do you call a pirate from Ireland?? Arrrish"

"[gets pulled over] cop: ""sir, do you know how fast you were going?"" [i've swapped places with the dog] me: ""answer the man"""

"I broke up with my wife We had to be put back together"

"You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you."

"My joke Did you hear about the procrastinator telling a joke. Answer. I,l tell you later."

"Good Answer A white couple gets a black child. Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black? Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!"

"Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa!"