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Joke of the Day

"She said I have a face only a mother could love. I said ""that's not very nice, mom."""

"Dating is a lot like parking All the good ones are taken. The rest take a bunch of effort or are handicapped."

"Did you guys hear about the gay midget? Yeah, he just came out of the cupboard."

"How I met your father announced. Starring me and your mom."

"I phoned up the fishing helpline today. I said, ""I'm crap at fishing and need some tips"". The man said, ""Okay, can you hold the line?"" I said, ""No""."

"I'm sick of pretending. I'm ready to tend!"

"""Hey Evolution, what the fuck?"" - Platypus"

"Who is the Easter Bunny's favourite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!"

"Whitney Houston's last hit was ... off a crack pipe."

"[flash mob in front of me & my girl] [I join in then kneel down gasping] ""Will you.."" ""YES!... YE.."" ""grab me a smoothie from Jamba Juice?"""