208045

Joke of the Day

"There are 10 types of people in this world.... .... Those who understand binary code, and those who don't."

"""Wow, that's great!"" ~ Me, not paying attention, and hoping you didn't just tell me your Grandma died."

"Just realized, We stare at screens, have fake farms, cities and animals and poke people.Think about it. Facebook is a mental hospital and we're the patients."

"Almost had an accident due to texting while driving Barely hit send and some idiot slammed on his brakes! Luckily I only spilled my beer"

"What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran."

"Russia announces it will be celebrating Thanksgiving this year And yes, they will be roasting Turkey."

"How do you pass the Isis entrance exam? I don't know about you, I bombed it."

"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!"

"[in bed] Her: *seductively whispering* in the mood for a midnight snack? Me: *Oreo crumbs all over my face* I'm way ahead of you"

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Smallpox."