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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend made a call during sex... She let me know she was having a great time and she'd be home soon. Thought that was sweet."

"What does a lawyer wear to work? A lawsuit!"

"Why did the Nevada skunk cross the state border? To follow the smell of legal dank skunk buds."

"What does a man eat when he cannot run off with his girlfriend? Cantaloupe"

"Wanna hear a joke? [removed]"

"Injured myself dancing last night but fortunately I'm eligible for Twerkman's Comp."

"Did you hear they're gonna make a new TV show about Bruce growing up as an unloved child? They're gonna call it Punky Bruceter."

"Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

"How did the Australian make the Olympics? He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss"

"I work at a furniture store. My boss asked me to label and price all the new items. I said, ""Hey boss. How do you want me to label this stone armchair?"" He said, ""No man, clay chair."""