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Joke of the Day

"People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away."

"What did the prostitute bring to the can drive? Her peas"

"My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all. He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume."

"Hi, I'm starting a support group for people who have trouble reaching orgasm... If you can't cum let me know."

"""I'm a very private person"" - people who are on back to back reality shows"

"What brand toothbrush do Mexicans use? Oral-E"

"""Check, please!"" - Me, at a restaurant begging the waiter to make sure there are no monsters under the table"

"Group of 12 year old girls: We're scared of boys. Me: OMG, me tooooooo!"

"A robot had an accident and sustained a head injury. He was a bit upset."

"Someone called me stupid and then blocked me before I even had a chance to agree with them."