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Joke of the Day

"Given that my grandmother's world is upended by soup that is too salty, I can't help but question how bad The Depression REALLY was."

"I did some Star War's fantasy roll playing this weekend Me, Hand Solo and Princess Didn't-Get-Laid-a."

"Some guy jumped me in the alley...! Yeah he was so nice. My battery had run out because I left my lights on!"

"Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months."

"I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed."

"The difference between sex and pumpkin carving? In pumpkin carving, one is trying to get all of the seeds out."

"Hickory hickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest got away with minor injuries"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes that isn't moving? Still no idea."

"Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !"

"What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party ? Cake Moss and Naomi Candles"