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Joke of the Day

"*paramedic holds me as a I lay dying* ME: Tell my family.. all I ever wanted..was a robot butler PM: With a top hat? ME: Of course you idiot"

"I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows."

"An Elderly Couple were Watching TV They died."

"I just want to wear futuristic clothes & run up to people, ask them what year it is and the date and run away screaming ""There's still time"""

"People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate' ...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog."

"A hotdog and a hamburger are haveing a pooping contest... The hamburger is winning. In order to ketchup, the hotdog mustard."

"Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? one's really heavy and the others a little lighter!"

"In a progressively incestuous household... ...it's about upping the auntie"

"Sorry I'm late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic."

"I once won an argument with a woman...in this dream I had."