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Joke of the Day

"Somewhere out there, a man named Private Number is sobbing uncontrollably because no one ever takes his phone calls."

"If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple. Because aliens don't wear hats."

"Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good but where is the wagon ? Pupil: The horse will draw it !"

"A faster than light neutrino! Knock Knock! Who's there? New. New who?"

"I have days when wearing a hat is the only use I have made of my head."

"Guys, please don't forget to wake up Green Day tonight. September is ending."

"[Gets Twitter error: ""Somehow, somewhere, something went wrong""] I know Twitter, I know. That's why I'm here."

"What do you call a muslim holocaust? Sand Sanitizer."

"Did you hear Gotye converted from Judaism to Catholicism? After realizing he didn't need to follow Jewish customs, he exclaimed to the rabbi, ""you didn't have to cut me off!"""

"What's the difference between a dog? One of his legs is the same."