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Joke of the Day

"Somewhere out there, a man named Private Number is sobbing uncontrollably because no one ever takes his phone calls."

"Last year, I got socks for Christmas. The year before, I got a couple of sacks. And before that, a sax. For pity's sake, Santa, you blind old jerk, it's sex. S-E-X."

"What happens when you bring beer to a BYU party? All the girls put on their panties and go home."

"How do you tell... How do you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes!"

"The cat puked all over the bath mat so I just tossed it into the trash can. Then I put the bath mat in the washer."

"There is no ""i"" in ""team,"" but there is a lot of ""alcohol"" in my ""fridge"" because I enjoy abusing my liver."

"A smile every mile will get you further faster but if that doesn't work, carjacking does."

"How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."

"Im so glad I learned sign language its pretty handy"

"haha lol ownded dad!!!! u may thimk its nice that u get a fathers day once a year, but ther is a son day evrey week"