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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu."

"Did you hear about the hunting rule change? It's a game changer."

"I just saw Ex Machina... I thought it was supposed to be about AI, and not just about women."

"How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side!"

"Guess what God said to Joan Rivers when she just arrived in Heaven? Thank you, Bruce really needed those botox to make his wife and daughters as beautiful as he is"

"Why did the girl spray her clock? It was full of ticks."

"Why Derrick Rose's Rape Allegations Won't Stick. ""Just like his knees, it won't hold up in court"""

"Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school? I wouldn't fit through the door."

"*smoke detector chirps* me*takes battery out* *chirp* me*cuts wires* *chirp* me*smashes it with a hammer* *chirp* wife:We have more than one"

"Abortions are like stains in my carpet. You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out."