2079

Joke of the Day

"Ever hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither did he."

"Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri ""What do women want?"" She has been talking nonstop for the last two days."

"Did you hear that? What? DID YOU HEAR THAT? NOT ""WHAT?""..WHAT!? What? *axe murderer kills both*"

"I was talking to a man today. He told me his name, ""**B**ernie **A**llen **D**avies."" My **initial** thought was that he was a **BAD** guy!"

"It's not rape if she's holding bud light"

"They finally created a generic viagra. Micoxaphlopin is the next big thing."

"Why doesn't the pope like the Higgs Boson? Because you can't have mass without him"

"MOM: putting him in sports was a bad idea DAD: yup ME (in right field wearing my cup on my face): hey coach look at me I'm Bane lol"

"On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese."

"How can you tell someone is an engineer? They'll tell you! (Source: am an engineer)"