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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? Donald Trump has never had a garbanzo bean on him."

"Tweeting with an egg avatar is like showing up to a job interview in a sweatsuit."

"Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose."

"If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?"

"China has a new mid-range rocket called the 'Dong Feng'... ...there is another rocket under development called the 'Pon.'"

"what do you call that sensitive part in a woman's ass which when stimulated arouses her? shitoris"

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them?"

"SANTA: I don't need a surveillance guy. I see all! ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus] S: When can u start"

"Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter."

"What does Hitler say when he gets a charlie horse? *Mein Krampf!*"