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Joke of the Day

"If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?"

"pulled over drunk driving office: please recite the alphabet from z to a me: z y u a k m e"

"How did Feminism start? With an unlocked kitchen door"

"As an ornothologist and a pimp I structure payment based on the old saying: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

"The next person who calls it an ATM Machine is getting sent to the ICU Unit."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Some obscure number you probably never heard of."

"How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! ""whole... hole."" it's a play on words ;)"

"what does donald trump do with the nuclear missiles when he doesn't want to have them anymore fire them"

"What's fast and can breathe underwater? Not a toddler, I can tell you that"

"Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics? Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America."