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Joke of the Day

"A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: ""I think I just lost my electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Asked its friend, ""Yes"" replied the first, ""I'm positive."""

"The holidays are coming. If you do NOT want snakes please send me a notarized letter asking for NO SNAKES. Otherwise you are getting snakes."

"M R Ducks Person 1: M R Ducks. Person 2: M R Not. Person 1: O S A R. C M Wangs? Person 2: L I B. M R Ducks! My grandmother told me this when I was 5ish. Don't know why it cracks me up."

"Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino was indicted on tax charges today The Situation does not look good legally."

"Did I tell you the one about the maize? Nevermind, it's too corny."

"What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape."

"What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you're sorry."

"What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive."

"Where can a hand refuel its car? At a fist pump."

"I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray"