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Joke of the Day

"M R Ducks Person 1: M R Ducks. Person 2: M R Not. Person 1: O S A R. C M Wangs? Person 2: L I B. M R Ducks! My grandmother told me this when I was 5ish. Don't know why it cracks me up."

"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely."

"What's the difference between a stoner and a Jew? A stoner gets baked more than once"

"What's the difference between Catholics and Protestants? Protestants have sects."

"Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy."

"What are the similarities between my work shirt and the children of Flint, MI? They both were recently ironed."

"""How do we hide Superman's identity?"" They asked. A man kicked in the door & yelled ""With glasses!"" & everyone started clapping for him."

"How do you call the current situation in Syria? Very syrias"

"What do you get when Italians join ISIS? Baked Yazidi"

"I remember when I was a virgin I thought I'd remember every single time I got laid Since I've been married though I can't remember the last time I've had sex"